what hurted me the most during all that period
i felt shame about doing everything cause i felt really less, basically حقرت روحي بالعين in litterly everything
i refused some ppl i really liked
i didnt like how i looked most of the time
i moved as a dead body every moment
somehow everything i was living had another version in my head
i think that i would be really really diffrent if all of this didnt happend
but some how,
i still believe that everything will pass
and i will look really proud into my self
one day ill be out of this surviving mood area
and i will look back
and just see it as an old silly memories
...
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